submitted by @lanasskye​ !

“Emmy,

I know things have been hard, and I’m not sure if you want to speak to me, but I did it because I love you. I love you more than anyone else on this planet, and if me being alone for a little bit protects you, then I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. I’m just glad you’re safe.

Even if you hate me, please, know that I never stopped loving you. You’re the light of my life, my best friend, the only person I’ve ever loved this much. 

I hope things are okay in Europe, I know you’re going to be a great forensic scientist, it’s what you’ve been working for your whole life.

Sorry it took so long to get you this, it’s been a rough couple of years. 

Merry Christmas, I miss you,

Lan xx”

The letter sits inside a pretty red envelope, Lana’s cursive writing looping in gold calligraphy.

A large box is wrapped in paper underneath, the microscope Ema had asked for for years but Lana had never been able to afford sits inside.

          her   hands   quake.   they   tremble,   intensity   increasing   after   her   eyes   take   in  each   word.   ema   had   waited   to   open   the   letter.   she   wasn’t   sure   if   she   wanted   to   know   what   was   inside,   christmas   was   already   a   touchy   subject.   it   took   some   sweat   to   keep   the   large   present   away   from   her   foster   siblings,   but,   her   eyes   always   flitted   to   it   when   her   mind   wandered.   now,   she’d   open  it.   it   needed   to   be   before  feburary   rolled   around,   if   she  waited,  it’d   never   be   touched.

          her   thumb   grazes   over   delicate   golden   ink.   she   wanted   lana   here   —-   she   wanted   to   see   her   face   and   feel   her   warmth    —-   but,   the   lined   paper   granted   her   no   comfort.   it   was   cold,   just   like   how   she   felt   inside.

          ema   felt   tears   stain   her   cheeks,   a   hand   pushing   the   card  away,   soiling   it   with   tears   would   be   inconceivable.   instead,   wavering   fingers    pushed   away   crisp   tissue  paper,   only   by   a   bit.   she   knew    what   it   was.    and   she   didn’t   want   her   premonitions   to  be   true.

          it   fueled   her   anguish.   the   microscope.   something    she’d   begged   for   when   the   most   of   her   problems   consisted   of   a   lack   of   “   professional   “   science   gear.   it   seemed   so   trivial   now.    this    was    what   she’d   wanted.   yet,    ema    remains    unsatisfied.   she   jerked   her   hand   away   from   the   packaging,   as   if   it   had   burned   her   —-   like   a   hotplate   on   a    stove.   she    wanted   her   sister.   she   wanted   lana.   not   desires   she   held   close   to   her   chest   when   she   was   blind   to   the   martyr   living   under   her   roof.

           it  sits  high  upon   her   shelf,  unopened,   as   a   personal   reminder,   as   a   trophy   of   sorts.   she   didn’t   weep   when   she   would   glance   at   it   any   longer.   instead,   she’d   smile.