snackooed-a

‘ sister, sister  /  lanasskye.

Lana wasn’t much of a light sleeper, she never had been. Before Ema was born she was always able to get through the night, but with the death of their parents and the way they left Lana to watch over Ema when she was only 16. A child having to watch over a two year old. Lana struggled, sure, she still had to finish high school and take care of her own studies. Tired eyes picking up the younger girl from day care and bringing her back, cooking, cleaning, and bathing her all before she was able to start her own homework, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Lana loved Ema. She would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

And that’s why she doesn’t sleep much anymore.

Not since SL-9. The thought of having to lie, to avoid the one person that meant the most to her. She knew deep down it was to keep Ema safe. If the word got out that Ema killed Neil, she’d be taken away. It might be selfish of her, but Lana wanted to keep Ema as hers, forever. She always had Ema when no one else was around. And so in order to keep her safe, and alive, she had to keep lying to her sister. Even if it caused her own mental health to deteriorate. 

She knew Ema saw the way she was tired, the lack of sleep, the empty bottles tucked inside trashcans to keep the younger sister from noticing, the antidepressants. But the worst thing was the nightmares. Nightmares of Ema being swept away from men in blue uniforms. Visions of Damon Gant laughing as his pseudo-daughter was locked away. Lana spiraling further into a depression, crying. Screaming. Lightning. It never ended.

She never liked Ema seeing her cry. She was supposed to be a role model, a strong older sister that was there for Ema when no one else was - even if it was at a distance. She knew Ema hated her. But she’d rather have an angry sister than a dead sister.

Wiping her tanned features she sat up on the bed, trying to even out her breaths. “Stop crying.” she told herself over and over again.

Eventually, the tears stopped and she pulled the covers away, footsteps tip toeing across the wooden floor, trying not to creak as she walked.

“Ema? What are you doing up?” She was trying to disguise the shaking of her voice, even if she wanted to cover it up, you can tell she’d been crying.

           she   almost   yelped.  the  girl   hadn’t   expected   lana   to  be  awake   at   such  a   late   hour.   however,   she   didn’t   usually   leave   her   room   when   she   was   like   this.   she   usually   read   until   sleep   accepted   her   into   its   cold   embrace.

          aquamarine   orbs   darted   around   the   room   instinctively,   as   if    she   was   caught   doing   something   she   shouldn’t   be   doing.   slowly,   though,   her   hands   would   calm   from  their   tense   position.   ema   hated   the   way   she   felt   around   her   sister.   not   that,   anything   her   sister   did    made   the   girl   spite   her,   but,   lana   was   her   kin   —-    her   only   relative,   at   that.   she   should   love   her   unconditionally.   and,   she   did,   at   least   —–  she   thought.

           she   loved   lana   —-   so,   why   were  her  hands  still   shaking   ?

           eyelashes   fluttered   back   to   a   more   mundane  gaze.   (   fake   it   until   you   make   it   —-   everything’ll   be   alright.   )   her   hand   willed   the   running   water   to   a   stop,   placing   her   glass   on   the   counter.  a  smile   appeared   on   her   lips,  seemingly   inconspicuous.

           ‘    o   -    oh   !!   lana   !   i   didn’t   see   you   there   —-

                i   was   just   getting   some   water.   ‘